    
 |
As
you may know, you can order an iPod from the
Apple Store
with a custom, laser-engraved message. However,
not everything gets engraved. Apple has been rejecting
some messages for editorial reasons.
The
following is a collection of engravings that were actually rejected by
Apple, and some that probably should have been. Enjoy!
- 10,000
Stolen Tunes Inside* ~Anonymous
- Not to be used as a suppository.* ~Umbralkin
- I cost more than three hookers.* ~Umbralkin
- When my battery dies, so will you.* ~Umbralkin
- Not
responsible for prolonged damage to the ear & brain.* ~Anonymous
- iPod
Limited Edition: Retard Compatible. * ~Jimmy4Kim
- Rip,
Mix, & Burn Down RIAA Headquarters*
~Anonymous
- Cocaine
and razor blade not included.*
~Carl
- Lick
My Shiny Metal Ass* ~Anonymous
- karma
is a bitch* ~Anonymous
- Bad
Mother Fucker* (settled
with "Bad Mother Fucka) ~Ben
- Something
small & white that Enrique Eglasias Isn't In.*
~wiredgargoyle
- I
play with myself.*
~ leonardom
- Steal
this? Will self destruct when used.*
~Anonymous
- iMasturbate
five times a day*
~rjones
- F
uck Osama.*
~Anonymous
- Screwing
The RIAA One Download At A Time* ~Mike
P.
- I cost
more per ounce than cocaine.* ~dgcole
- This
iPod will self destruct in 1 year.* ~dale
- Practice
safe sex... Go FU*K yourself!* ~whocares590
THE
FOLLOWING WERE NOT REJECTED, BUT STILL VERY CLEVER and/or
FUNNY
- "One
time at band camp." ~JLOVE
- I don't
need good taste, I've got selection.~Umbralkin
- Kiss
me, I've got Irish music.~Umbralkin
- George
Bush Hates Black People ~Kayne West
- fatti
i cazzi tuoi (Mind your own f-ing business) ~gatherings
- I
Don't Do Windows ~Anonymous
- Trapped
in iPod factory. Please send help ~Pheenix
- Me vs.
RIAA:
Exhibit A ~ukealii50
- My other
iPod is a Millenium Falcon ~commongiga
- Steal At Your Own Risk. Bomb
Installed ~Nick
A.
- Tom
Cruise is a couch humping homo ~Anonymous
- Mic0s0f7
5ux a$$ ~Anonymous
- I may
be small and white but at least I've got a big disk!
~Jesse S.
- Don't
fsck with me or: $find / -name u | /dev/null
- Scratch
your balls, not my metal. ~Anonymous
- Who
said Apple
sucks? ~Jaeboy
- Save water, drink beer and shower together ~ Jquinn825
- Now
you have two little white pocket rockets.
- People will pay more to be entertained than educated. ~DulceDLeche16
- WARNING:
Contains Yanni Box Set
- 10,000
reasons to ignore my wife
-
If only women's buttons were this easy to push.
-
This iPod makes up for my small hard disk.
- Once
you go small and white... ~Anonymous
- 98%
Liberace-free
- Harmful If Swallowed
- Dear [insert name], Thanks for
the iPod idea. Steve Jobs ~IFC1
- I'm so trendy look at my white
headphones! ~sjs
- Size
Does Matter ~Anonymous
- Musically
Disturbed ~Joe F.
- Weapons
of Mass Distraction Inside ~wiredgargoyle
- Contents
Under Pressure from RIAA ~wiredgargoyle
- My
other handheld is a PocketPC ~vostinar
- CDs
are for amish people! ~mustachioman
- Quarter
free jukebox ~mustachioman
- FCUK
WINDOWS ~lancew
- Why
drink and drive, When you can smoke and fly. ~tipx
- I
last 8 hrs. You last 2 minutes. Who's the man?
- My
iPod can beat up your honor roll student
- Your
mamma uses a walkman.
- "Say
hello to my little friend" ~iiikora
- FCUK
THE SHUFFLE, WTF
I Ordered a 60 Gigger! ~dilpreet64
Here's
another one that requires a few extra brain cells.
Gopz tbzpj dhz hss zavklu.
for(;;i++)d[i]=d[i]%26+65;
If
you use the first line, as the input for the second line.
It produces the text "This music was all stolen" in
plain english. ~asterisk
Only
entries with a *
were actually rejected by Apple. All other entries were just
made up by our readers. If you have a real
rejected engraving, or just a funny one, send
it to us.
If
Apple does reject your engraving, just take your iPod to your
local jeweler. They can engrave it for you. |
We've
all seen the EQ setting in iTunes, but not many
of us know exactly how to use it to its full
potential. Rich Tozzoli, Senior Editor of Surround
Professional Magazine breaks each
equalizer slider down and helps you get the most
out of your music.
After
Apple released the limited edition U2 Black
iPod, the door was opened for imitators to
follow. Let's hope these ideas never
even make it past the drawing board.
You are a DJ but you don't have any bulky gear. Everything
you need is in your pockets and the size of a cigarette pack. You
are a mp3j.
Are
you a victim of the iPod's blossoming popularity?
Feel like just another pair of white headphones in
the crowd? Maybe it's time you got an iPod Mod.
Need something to watch on your iPod Video? Here's a tutorial that explains how
to use a program called Handbrake to rip DVD's into iPod compatible MPEG-4 video
files. 
When
Apple announced that iTunes would provide playlist sharing
among users on a local network, people rejoiced. Rogue Amoeba's Nicecast went
a little further. The software allows you to broadcast your iTunes
playlists over the Internet. 
Has
a crappy song creept its way into your ‘Most Listened To' playlist?
This tutorial explains how to reset the Play Count of one or more songs
in your iTunes library. 
On
the run, in the car, or at the gym, our iPods have gone with
us to the ends of the earth... except places near water. But
thanks to the OtterBox Mini you can now safely take your
iPod Mini near or even underwater.
H20 Audio has created a waterproof and impact
resistant case so that we can take our iPod Minis anywhere we
want… including the ocean free.
In
a world of boring shelf speakers that are as fascinating
as the wires that connect them, the JBL Encounter draws people
towards it with its innovative tongue-in-cheek design and
then lavishes them with deep warm sound.
